Tuesday, December 30, 2003
just learned this:
102.3... one of the first High Fedelity Stereo (HFS) stations in the Baltimore/DC area.
Later, the owners bought another station in Annapolis with the frequency 99.1
Crazy to think that the now bona-fide cock rock 99.1 actually had cool (freeform radio) roots. Too bad it sucks so hard now.
99.1 WHFS YOU SUCK.
YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK!
No amount of cocky Dj's can save you from the fact you SUCK!!!!!!!
102.3... one of the first High Fedelity Stereo (HFS) stations in the Baltimore/DC area.
Later, the owners bought another station in Annapolis with the frequency 99.1
Crazy to think that the now bona-fide cock rock 99.1 actually had cool (freeform radio) roots. Too bad it sucks so hard now.
99.1 WHFS YOU SUCK.
YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK!
No amount of cocky Dj's can save you from the fact you SUCK!!!!!!!
Monday, December 29, 2003
If I could just forget... everything [sad] said.
... and everything we did...
like "best of friends" and "better halves".
Sometimes its just not so easy to forget the feelings that brought you to certain places to begin with. Like a vicous cycle. Something about not being able to break out.... desperately wanting, but not achieving... the total and complete separation between feelings and mood.
I guess it proves I'm not a robot, but yet... but nothing... sunny days are infinitely better than rainy ones... though there might be something more comforting about the blank grey.
... and everything we did...
like "best of friends" and "better halves".
Sometimes its just not so easy to forget the feelings that brought you to certain places to begin with. Like a vicous cycle. Something about not being able to break out.... desperately wanting, but not achieving... the total and complete separation between feelings and mood.
I guess it proves I'm not a robot, but yet... but nothing... sunny days are infinitely better than rainy ones... though there might be something more comforting about the blank grey.
Friday, December 26, 2003
Merry Christmas, all.
Sorry for being a day late, however.
No Happy Holidays.... nor Happy "Mid-winter Holiday"
Christmas is what Christmas is.... which no amount of political correctness can corrupt or rob from.
No "x-mas" either... what, we're too afraid to say "Christ"? People can say "Christ" all they want when they swear and its ok, but the second you mention "Christ" as the person... as the Savior... people get up and arms about not being sensitive to other's culture and religions.
Merry Christmas.... and if you feel offended... good. Maybe you should go to church more often, or examine your life a little closer.
After all, a true relationship with God isn't about "church"... its not about candles, big buildings, stained glass and highly litergical responsive readings... its truly about recongizing the fact that God loves us and wants to see us live good lives... the way He intended. I know you might be reading this and think that sounds hokey, but there's really no other way to say it. God loves us... sent his Son, Jesus, to die for us... and if we accept Jesus as the Son of God, as our Savior... our actual lives from that second you accept Jesus, from that point on, are made better by immaculate ways I can't even begin to describe... and when we die, we won't go to hell for our sins against God, but actually get to meet Him and hang out with Him and Jesus. There, pure and simple... black and white... clear as crystal. No candles or stained glass required.
This is a confession and testimony that I should have posted long, long, long ago... but I know... I mean, really know, every statement in the above paragraph to be true. In fact, I'd die for it.
Sorry for being a day late, however.
No Happy Holidays.... nor Happy "Mid-winter Holiday"
Christmas is what Christmas is.... which no amount of political correctness can corrupt or rob from.
No "x-mas" either... what, we're too afraid to say "Christ"? People can say "Christ" all they want when they swear and its ok, but the second you mention "Christ" as the person... as the Savior... people get up and arms about not being sensitive to other's culture and religions.
Merry Christmas.... and if you feel offended... good. Maybe you should go to church more often, or examine your life a little closer.
After all, a true relationship with God isn't about "church"... its not about candles, big buildings, stained glass and highly litergical responsive readings... its truly about recongizing the fact that God loves us and wants to see us live good lives... the way He intended. I know you might be reading this and think that sounds hokey, but there's really no other way to say it. God loves us... sent his Son, Jesus, to die for us... and if we accept Jesus as the Son of God, as our Savior... our actual lives from that second you accept Jesus, from that point on, are made better by immaculate ways I can't even begin to describe... and when we die, we won't go to hell for our sins against God, but actually get to meet Him and hang out with Him and Jesus. There, pure and simple... black and white... clear as crystal. No candles or stained glass required.
This is a confession and testimony that I should have posted long, long, long ago... but I know... I mean, really know, every statement in the above paragraph to be true. In fact, I'd die for it.
Monday, December 22, 2003
Modified Haiku:
"today.
not a very good day.
very anger today.
very sad today.
today."
"today.
not a very good day.
very anger today.
very sad today.
today."
Dreams:
inconsistent angel things.
Horses bred with star-laced wings.
But it's so hard to make them fly, fly.... fly.
These wings beat the night sky 'bove the town.
One goes up and one goes down...
And so the chariot hits the ground, bound.... bound.
We have forgotten (don't try to make me fly)
How it used to be (I'll stay here, I'll be fine).
How it used to be (don't go and let me down)
How it used to be (I'm starting to like this town).
similar, but on the whole totally not related to:
Now there you go again you say, you want your freedom...
Who am I to hold you down.
It's only right to play it the way that you feel it...
or something like that. It was the 70's. We were all messed up back then.
inconsistent angel things.
Horses bred with star-laced wings.
But it's so hard to make them fly, fly.... fly.
These wings beat the night sky 'bove the town.
One goes up and one goes down...
And so the chariot hits the ground, bound.... bound.
We have forgotten (don't try to make me fly)
How it used to be (I'll stay here, I'll be fine).
How it used to be (don't go and let me down)
How it used to be (I'm starting to like this town).
similar, but on the whole totally not related to:
Now there you go again you say, you want your freedom...
Who am I to hold you down.
It's only right to play it the way that you feel it...
or something like that. It was the 70's. We were all messed up back then.
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Sometimes I feel like I'm just done... just done with music.
Like I don't even want to play anymore.
Sometimes I feel like there's just so many complexities of emotion... its just so exhusting. Its like I can't listen to a song without being reminded of a place, feeling, or person...
The radio is safe: its all canned, consumer friendly, non-impactual (if thats a word) music... its like "lets talk about angst" or lets talk about "soft jazz" or lets talk about lyrics that dont/aren't/couldn't be thought provoking or novel.
How many times does heart rhyme with part? How many times does love rhyme with above? How many times can we say things like "all the times, I've tried...".
A little overused assonance, maybe?
I'm just sick of it... I'm sick of being drug back into places I don't want to be by haunting reminders. I'm just tired and don't have the energy to expend on pet depressions anymore. I'm sick of thinking that there's something wrong with me. I'm sick of living my life on emotional highs and flighting through the lows.... I do realize its all about feeling "alive"... but sometimes I think mediocrity would suffice.
I'm sick of feeling guilty everyday because I have a day job... and am not putting more time energy and effort into getting signed. I just can't deal with the guilt. I can't do it anymore.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm missing things... and that I'm not living my life to the fullest. I'm just tired.
... just tired.
Like I don't even want to play anymore.
Sometimes I feel like there's just so many complexities of emotion... its just so exhusting. Its like I can't listen to a song without being reminded of a place, feeling, or person...
The radio is safe: its all canned, consumer friendly, non-impactual (if thats a word) music... its like "lets talk about angst" or lets talk about "soft jazz" or lets talk about lyrics that dont/aren't/couldn't be thought provoking or novel.
How many times does heart rhyme with part? How many times does love rhyme with above? How many times can we say things like "all the times, I've tried...".
A little overused assonance, maybe?
I'm just sick of it... I'm sick of being drug back into places I don't want to be by haunting reminders. I'm just tired and don't have the energy to expend on pet depressions anymore. I'm sick of thinking that there's something wrong with me. I'm sick of living my life on emotional highs and flighting through the lows.... I do realize its all about feeling "alive"... but sometimes I think mediocrity would suffice.
I'm sick of feeling guilty everyday because I have a day job... and am not putting more time energy and effort into getting signed. I just can't deal with the guilt. I can't do it anymore.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm missing things... and that I'm not living my life to the fullest. I'm just tired.
... just tired.
I get up in the evening,
and I ain't got nothing to say.
I come home in the morning...
and go to bed, feeling the same way.
I'm nothing but tired...
I'm just tired and bored with myself.
I think I could use just a little help.
You can't start a fire without spark,
This gun's for hire: even if we're just dancing in the dark.
The message keeps getting clearer...
The radio's on and I'm moving around the place.
I check my look in the mirror,
but I want to change I clothes, my hair... my face.
I'm getting nowhere... just living in a dump like this,
There's something happening somewhere,
I just know that there is.
You can't start a fire without a spark,
This gun's for hire: even if we're just dancing in the dark.
I'm sitting around getting older
there's a joke somewhere and it's on me
I shake this world off my shoulders...
So, come on, the laugh's on me.
Stay in the streets of this town,
You know they'll be carving you up, all right.
They say "You've got to stay hungry"
We'll, I'm just about starving tonight
I'm dying for some action,
I'm sick sitting around here trying to write this book
I need a little reaction... give me just one look.
You can't start a fire sitting around crying with a broken heart.
This gun's for hire: even if we're just dancing in the dark.
You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart.
This gun's for hire: even if we're just dancing in the dark.
Even if we're just dancing in the dark.
and I ain't got nothing to say.
I come home in the morning...
and go to bed, feeling the same way.
I'm nothing but tired...
I'm just tired and bored with myself.
I think I could use just a little help.
You can't start a fire without spark,
This gun's for hire: even if we're just dancing in the dark.
The message keeps getting clearer...
The radio's on and I'm moving around the place.
I check my look in the mirror,
but I want to change I clothes, my hair... my face.
I'm getting nowhere... just living in a dump like this,
There's something happening somewhere,
I just know that there is.
You can't start a fire without a spark,
This gun's for hire: even if we're just dancing in the dark.
I'm sitting around getting older
there's a joke somewhere and it's on me
I shake this world off my shoulders...
So, come on, the laugh's on me.
Stay in the streets of this town,
You know they'll be carving you up, all right.
They say "You've got to stay hungry"
We'll, I'm just about starving tonight
I'm dying for some action,
I'm sick sitting around here trying to write this book
I need a little reaction... give me just one look.
You can't start a fire sitting around crying with a broken heart.
This gun's for hire: even if we're just dancing in the dark.
You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart.
This gun's for hire: even if we're just dancing in the dark.
Even if we're just dancing in the dark.
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
I can't stand it.
There's something about it that seems to just freaking drive me out of my head and into some kind of torture-hell depression.
Just when things seem to be looking up and beyond, or out and upward.... this seeming scarring tacking place... making me realize this was the person that I hadn't become, but only something in the intrim.
Its not feeling because I'm "dead"... but more just out of boredom, or just making something out of the nothing that I was covered and weighted down with.
Ya year that? The nothing that I was weighted down with. It was all only in my head. Which is both comforting, and scary... just to see how powerful delusion could/can be.
There's something about it that seems to just freaking drive me out of my head and into some kind of torture-hell depression.
Just when things seem to be looking up and beyond, or out and upward.... this seeming scarring tacking place... making me realize this was the person that I hadn't become, but only something in the intrim.
Its not feeling because I'm "dead"... but more just out of boredom, or just making something out of the nothing that I was covered and weighted down with.
Ya year that? The nothing that I was weighted down with. It was all only in my head. Which is both comforting, and scary... just to see how powerful delusion could/can be.
